


Reverence

by nekosmuse_archive (nekosmuse)



Category: Without a Trace
Genre: Confessional Sex, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-19
Updated: 2020-04-19
Packaged: 2021-03-02 04:35:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23739187
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nekosmuse/pseuds/nekosmuse_archive
Summary: Written pre 2005. Posting for archival purposes.He doesn't think this should fit under the definition of worship.
Relationships: Martin Fitzgerald/Danny Taylor
Kudos: 6





	Reverence

On the whole things could be a lot worse. But then he remembers where he is and what he's doing.

Not that there's anything wrong with it, except of course the supposed to be working thing. And he's certain they could have chosen a better location. Not that he minds standing in the litter infested alley -although he's not certain standing is a good description but he's too far gone to worry about semantics at the moment- except that it doesn't offer any real comfort, or privacy for that matter.

Then of course there's the whole Danny thing. And he's pretty sure that in-and-of-itself is wrong. So maybe everything with it is wrong. He's pretty sure he'd even be willing to voice the thought if it didn't feel so damn right.

And it does feel right, even though he could continue listing all the things that are wrong with it, in the end it doesn't matter because it just feels right. It still startles him, the realization of just how good he and Danny are together. The way they just seem to *fit*.

"God....Martin," Danny whispers, his breath caressing Martin's cheek and causing him to shiver.

He can tell Danny's close by the tiny hitch in his breathing, the sudden tensing of body. He gently squeezes his hand, running his thumb sharply along the underside of Danny's cock. The action is enough to send Danny over the edge, bucking forward, his scream muffled as he buries his face in Martin's neck. He relishes the feel of Danny throbbing in his hand. The way his whole body seems to hum with energy.

"Christ I love watching you come," he murmurs next to Danny's ear.

Danny's response is a non verbal grunt that turns into a moan as Martin retrieves a handkerchief from his pocket and cleans Danny before tucking him back into his pants.

"We should really get back to work," he states, ignoring his own erection and hoping for once Danny will let him get away with it. Not that Danny would ever allow Martin to go unfinished; he might as well have suggested they grow wings and fly for the look Danny's giving him.

"We still have time," Danny replies, looking decidedly dishevelled -a good look on him Martin thinks- his skin still flushed from his earlier orgasm.

And just like that Martin's pressed against the wall, his pants open with Danny's hand between his legs. He thinks maybe he should have resisted or at least tried not cave to Danny's eagerness. But he likes giving in to Danny, even if it increases the risks of them getting caught.

And even though he'd deny it if Danny asked, the feel of Danny's hand wrapped around him is worth getting caught. Danny's strokes are rough, frantic even. He knows Danny's hurrying but it doesn't bother him. There'll be time for lazy, slow exploration later. Right now is all about getting off and getting off quickly so they can go back to doing their jobs.

"Open your eyes," Danny whispers into Martin's ear.

Martin obeys -as if he's capable of doing anything else- and finds himself staring into Danny's dark knowing eyes. He feels Danny's grip tighten, his thumb rubbing small circles across the head of Martin's cock. The thought of getting caught vanishes as he blocks everything but the feel of Danny's hand. The warmth radiating from his palm, the long, perfectly sculpted fingers stroking in time to Martin's breathing. The weight of Danny's thumb as he presses down, increasing the pressure ever so slightly.

He swallows a cry as he comes, not even caring that he should have lasted longer. He knows Danny won't begrudge him, not given the circumstances.

"God," he breathes, his body slumping back against the worn brick of the building.

He watches with detachment as Danny sets about cleaning them up and pulling their suits back together. A little rumpled, but no more so than they'd be after a long shift.

"Ready to head back in?" Danny asks after pressing a final kiss against the corner of Martin's lips.

"Yeah, I think so," Martin replies with a soft smile.

It's all business now, like they didn't just spend the last fifteen minutes giving each other hand jobs in the alley behind the missing girl's apartment. Except now she's not missing and all that's left is follow-up and Martin's never really considered that part of the job important. Not comparatively anyway. They'll spend the next few hours taking statements, writing reports and packing everything away.

Another point for the good guys.

~*~

There's something about the sight of Martin sprawled across his bed that still makes him weak. He thinks he should be used to it, he's seen it enough, but it still sends shivers down his spine. He thinks maybe it's the contrast from the Martin he sees everyday. This Martin is open, his defences abandoned. This Martin is his and that's something he can't always say.

Even though he knows Martin's getting frustrated he still can't help but lean back and just look. Catalogue his flushed skin and dilated pupils. Memorize the tiny beads of sweat on Martin's brow, the way his hair looks damp and rumpled. The erratic rising and falling of his chest, so quick he's half afraid Martin might hyperventilate.

"Please, Danny...."

He smirks at that, knowing this is driving Martin crazy, knowing he's being cruel. He can't help himself, there's just something so powerful about seeing Martin needy and out of control. He's been thinking about this moment since their earlier escapades in the alley. Not that he'd ever turn down anything Martin was willing to offer but there's something so much more *satisfying* about having Martin in his bed.

He breaks out of his trance long enough to touch, his hands moving slowly across Martin's chest. He watches the skin beneath his fingertips shiver, goosebumps forming in their wake. Smiling, he leans forward to trace the same path with his tongue. And now Martin's bucking up beneath him, arching his back in an effort to get even closer.

And this is the part Danny likes best. Watching Martin squirm and twist, trying everything in his power to close the distance between them, needing and wanting the friction of Danny's body in a way Danny knows all too well.

Finally he relents, pushing Martin's knees to his chest, spreading him wide. The sight alone is almost his undoing; so much so he's forced to close his eyes and actually concentrate on breathing. He waits until he's regained some semblance of control before caressing the exposed portion of Martin's ass, his fingers ghosting over the taunt stretch of skin at his entrance.

Slight bit of pressure and Martin's babbling a string of nonsense words Danny's never been able to make out. He chuckles softly, knowing it'll piss Martin off but not caring. Besides, Martin won't ask him to stop, no matter how pissed he is. Which is probably a good thing because Danny doesn't think he's capable of stopping and when he slides two fingers into tight heat he *knows* he'd rather die than stop.

"Oh god," Martin cries at the intrusion.

"Like that do you?" Danny teases, hooking a finger until Martin's eyes roll into the back of his head.

Martin's only response is a low and needy moan that turns into a whimper as Danny pulls his hand free. Danny doesn't give him time to protest, instantly replacing his fingers with his cock, sliding into Martin's body in one long, slow thrust. The moment Danny's fully sheathed, Martin twists, pulling Danny even deeper and earning a throaty growl for his efforts.

The sight of Martin pressed into his mattress is one thing, the sight of Martin writhing beneath him is an entirely different matter. It takes all the willpower Danny can muster not to come instantaneously. He knows one day he will; won't even make it inside before he's coming and coming and he probably won't even care. He's pretty sure Martin wouldn't either. But now he wants this to last, wants to memorize the feeling of Martin's body clenching around him, the feel of Martin's chest beneath his hands, the sound of the blood rushing through his ears; so loud he's surprised Martin can't hear it.

Once he's certain he can last beyond a few strokes, he begins to move. Slowly at first, rocking ever so slightly against Martin. He pulls almost completely out before thrusting forward, the force of it sending sparks of pleasure racing through his body. Martin meets him stroke for stroke, angling his hips and ensuring Danny hits Martin's prostrate each and every time.

He can tell Martin's close and he hasn't even touched him. He loves that he can make Martin come just from penetration. He loves how responsive Martin's body is, how in sync they seem to be. Reaching between them he finally allows himself to touch. Rubs his thumb across Martin's head, coating his finger in precome before bringing them to his lips because he just *has* to taste.

Martin tastes of salt and sweetness, all mixed together with something he can only define as Martin. He doesn't remember closing his eyes, but when he opens them he finds Martin watching him, his eyes dark and his expression more open than Danny remembers ever seeing.

Suddenly he can read everything that's going on in Martin's head and for a moment he forgets to breathe. He knows he should be terrified, maybe even a little freaked but instead calm washes over him and he finds himself returning the look, putting everything he feels into that one silent exchange until he's certain Martin understands.

And then Martin's coming into Danny's hand, covering them both in sticky dampness and Danny feels himself tense as his own release shudders through him.

Moments later Danny finds himself staring at the ceiling, the sound of the shower the only noise in the otherwise silent apartment. He doesn't remember pulling out of Martin, doesn't recall rolling onto his back, disposing of the condom or even Martin getting up. He thinks he should be concerned, blacking out isn't exactly something he does often, but before he can question it the shower stops and he finds himself watching the bathroom door for Martin's appearance.

"Hey, you're awake," Martin comments, a grin settling across his lips.

"How long was I out?" Danny asks, pushing himself onto an elbow to watch Martin cross the room.

"Maybe ten minutes," Martin replies, pushing the covers aside and settling next to Danny.

Danny knows he should be worried, but with Martin pressed next to him, he can't find the will to care.

~*~

Martin's having a hard time sitting still, not because Danny fucked him particularly hard last night, but because he keeps thinking about it and it's making him antsy. To make matters worse Vivian keeps looking at him and he's starting to think she knows more than she's letting on.

He's still not quite certain how they managed to keep this thing between them a secret, but here they are, months later, and no one has called them on it. No one has caught them stealing glances. No one has noticed them touching every time they cross paths. And no one has even thought to wonder why they always leave together and why, more often than not, one of them shows up the next day wearing the previous day's suit.

Or maybe they have noticed and no one has thought to say anything.

Martin still isn't sure if he even wants anyone to know. Sure, it would be nice, at the very least it would keep Sam from hitting on him every time Jack pissed her off. But more than that, he just wants to know that there is *something* for people to know about. Until recently he was pretty sure there wasn't, but now, well lately things had been different. More intense, more intimate, and not nearly as casual as it was when they began this… this whatever it was they were doing.

And that's really the problem, he still doesn't know what it is they're doing. If it were Sam he's pretty sure he'd be calling her his girlfriend by now. And while part of him considers Danny his boyfriend, he doesn't even know if Danny's seeing anyone else and for the first time since college he's beginning to get a little insecure.

Okay, a lot insecure because the thought of Danny sleeping with other people leaves him with a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach that he knows isn't just jealousy. The problem is Danny would never volunteer the information, which really only leaves him with asking and he isn't sure he wants to hear the answer.

"I'm telling you Sam, that guy was hiding something." Danny's voice carries across the office, breaking Martin's current train of thought.

The statement reminds Martin that he should be concentrating on the latest case, not pondering his place in Danny's life. A clear indication he should put an end to it because it's starting to affect his work and he knows nothing good can come of it.

He spares a glance at the latest picture adorning their white board. Missing thirty-three hours and so far all they've come up with are dead ends. He knows it should bother him, cases like this usually do, but he's been so preoccupied with Danny he hasn't had a chance to absorb the reality of the case.

Not that anyone should have to absorb a case like this. A case where their missing person is all but a kid, a first year NYU student with parents that don't really care and classmates that never really noticed him. A good kid who spent his weekends doing volunteer work at a local church -which is really the only reason anyone even noticed he was gone. It's taken them practically the entire day just to pinpoint the time of Matt's disappearance and Martin still can't figure out how someone could live their life so overlooked.

"Hey, you ready?" Danny asks, breaking through Martin's thoughts and Martin scolds himself for once again drifting.

"Um, yeah," Martin manages, not bothering to ask where they're going. He knows he should know and he's not willing to admit just how much all of this is affecting his concentration.

"Jack's already there, not sure why he needs us, but…." Danny laughs, already climbing onto the elevator and looking at Martin expectantly.

"I'm sure he has his reasons," Martin responds, exhaustion seeping into his tone.

"You alright?" Danny asks once the doors close, his expression complete concern and damn it if Martin's heart doesn't skip a beat at the sight.

"Just tired. Someone kept me up late last night," Martin replies, and that earns a self-satisfied smirk. Martin can't help but roll his eyes because he knows he shouldn't encourage Danny and yet he can't seem to help himself.

"Plan on keeping you up late tonight too," Danny comments as the reach they ground. He doesn't give Martin the opportunity to respond before smiling and heading towards the parking garage.

And suddenly the sinking sensation Martin's been feeling all day is gone and Martin finds himself smiling as he follows Danny to the car.

~*~

Martin's been acting odd all day and Danny can't quite figure out what's wrong. Not that he usually spends much time worrying about relationships, but with Martin everything is different and he finds himself wondering if he did something to piss the other man off.

Except Martin's smiling again and Danny should be happy but instead the sight only confuses him. He knows they've long since reached the, 'we should have an actual conversation' point in their relationship, but he can't seem to bring himself to start it. He thinks maybe part of him is worried that one of them will say something and the delicate balance that exists between them will shatter and then there'll be no going back.

The fact that he's even thought about it is a sure sign he's in over his head.

Danny forces the thought from his head as they reach St. Josephs; immediately spotting Jack waiting for them on the front steps. He manages to put Martin out of his mind while Jack gives them the run down on the latest information.

And then it’s back to business and Danny finds himself questioning the church shelters' director while Martin questions several clergy members. And even though he knows he should be concentrating on the case, he can't help but glance over at Martin, watching him work. There's something so sensual in the way Martin questions someone. The way he tilts his head, the way his attention is just so *focused*.

A bad train of thought because now Danny's thinking of how focused Martin gets when they're alone and the last thing he wants to be doing is questioning people about their missing student. Besides, this is getting them nowhere and they've been getting nowhere all day. Danny's fairly certain the boy left on his own. His dorm room was cleaned out, his bank drained and even though it doesn't make sense they can't overlook the obvious. But until they have confirmation they'll play this game, and while Danny understands it, he hates it.

"Thank you for your time, if you can think of anything else, give me a call," Danny says, handing off his business card before turning back to Martin.

~*~

Martin knows he should be concentrating on the case but focusing isn't exactly the easiest thing to do when Danny's looking at him again. He knows the look, the one he gets moments before they're scrambling for some out of the way corner. It doesn't help that they've finished their first round of questions and are seemingly alone for the first time all day.

He knows they don't have time for this; knows he should break eye contact and just walk away. But he's never been able to turn Danny down and he knows today won't be the day he breaks that tradition. Which is exactly why he's letting Danny push him backwards with only his eyes; so caught up in Danny's gaze that he doesn't even think to stop until his back hits something solid and he can't even muster the strength to care that they're standing in the middle of a church.

"Danny…" Martin warns, knowing it's futile but needing to voice his apprehension.

"Inside," Danny murmurs and it's only then that Martin realizes he's pressed against the side of a confessional booth.

Despite the several thousand protests running through his mind, he finds himself slipping inside, Danny close on his heals.

"This is a really bad idea," Martin cautions.

"Relax, Jack's preoccupied talking to Father McCulland, everyone else is gone, so no one is going to come looking for us," Danny replies, already working Martin's shirt out of his pants.

And Martin doesn't have a response for that, not when Danny's deftly removing his belt. Martin leans into the far corner, sinking down in order to gain some leverage. The space is small, but with some minor contorting Danny manages to sink to his knees, grinning up at Martin before he pulls Martin free and Martin's pretty sure this shouldn't fit under the definition of worship.

Martin bucks forward at the first feel of Danny's tongue, fighting to keep from thrusting into all of that wet inviting heat. Danny doesn't keep him waiting long, his tongue lightly flicking across the head of Martin's cock before swallowing him whole and it's all Martin can do to keep from crying out.

He's so lost in the feel of Danny's mouth it takes him several moments to register the sudden onset of light. And this isn't happening because Danny's still on his knees, his mouth frozen around Martin's cock, and now there's a priest sitting on the other side of the partition and Martin has no clue what he's supposed to do. He spares a moment to glance down and meets Danny's startled gaze. Not finding an answer in Danny's expression, he does the only thing he can think of.

"Forgive me Father for I have sinned," he begins, biting his lip as Danny smirks and starts moving again. "It has been…..a long time since my last confession," he manages and sends a silent prayer to television for giving him some clue of how this is done.

"Tell me your sins child," the priest prompts.

Several come to mind, the first being his current actions but Martin doesn't think explaining exactly what Danny's doing will go over well.

"I…..um, I have had…..lustful thoughts, about a co-worker," Martin finally stammers, and it's close enough to the truth that he doesn't have to add lying to his ever growing list of sins.

And then Danny's doing that thing with his tongue again and Martin can't concentrate on anything but the feel of Danny's mouth. He manages to catch something about five Hail Mary's and two Our Father's before he's coming, his body shuddering violently in an effort not to scream.

By the time he can breathe Danny's already slipped out, leaving Martin wondering what the hell happened. He doesn't have time to consider it long, knowing they need to get back to work. Still, he makes a mental note to ask Danny later. Hopefully Danny can also explain the whole Hail Mary, Our Fathers thing.

"Thank you Father," Martin mumbles, tucking himself back into his pants before exiting the booth, his tone laced with embarrassment.

~*~

Martin's still not responsive and Danny can't help but grin. The entire situation is spinning dangerously out of control and he still can't figure out what possessed him to suck Martin off in a church, on the bureau's time. Because really, when he thinks about it, it was a stupid thing to do. He has to give Martin credit though, he's not sure he could have maintained his cool if the situation had been reversed. Which says a lot about his frame of mind when he's around Martin because at least he isn't a stranger to confession.

But they didn't get caught and Danny finds himself stealing a sideways glance at Martin, still flushed and a little dazed. He rather likes the look, so maybe it wasn't such a stupid idea after all. Shifting slightly in his seat he starts the car, ignoring his own need, for the moment.

"Problems?" Martin's voice startles him, the amused tone not something Danny was expecting.

"Just feeling a little, restricted," Danny replies after a moment, the tent in the front of his pants quite noticeable.

"Serves you right. We could have lost our jobs," Martin responds, but Danny can tell he's not upset, not really.

"It was worth it, oh and you forgot your contrition," Danny jokes, shifting again for emphasis.

"My first confession, I'm sure God will forgive me," Martin retorts.

"Well, that is the point. Although, lustful thoughts about a coworker?" Danny goads.

Martin doesn't respond but Danny can tell he's planning some sort of revenge. His smirk is the only indication that Danny might even enjoy it. Then Martin's smiling, pulling on his seat belt and leaning into the space between them.

"What are you doing?" Danny chokes, his tone slightly panicked as Martin reaches for his belt.

"Just concentrate on driving," Martin orders, slowly lowering Danny's zipper.

Driving is the last thing on Danny's mind when Martin pulls his cock free. It vanishes completely as Martin's mouth suddenly surrounds him. Then nothing matters. Not that it's broad daylight. Not that they're driving through downtown Manhattan. Not even the busy road that Danny knows he should be paying attention to and it doesn't even matter that they might get into an accident because Martin's tongue is swirling around the tip of Danny's cock and it's about as close to perfection as Danny can ever remember feeling.

By some miracle Danny manages to keep his eyes open, the car on the road. It takes all the strength he can muster; his fingers gripping the steering wheel so tight his knuckles turn white. Martin doesn't even seem bothered by their current activities and Danny can tell he's smiling, trying desperately hard not to laugh.

For the first time in his memory Danny is thankful for a red light. And even though they're surrounded by stopped cars, Martin doesn't let up. Danny's pretty sure he wouldn't even care if someone saw them but before he can even consider the possibility he's coming, arching into Martin's mouth, his head falling back onto the seat.

When he opens his eyes the light's green and Martin's tucking him back into his pants. Danny's pretty sure he must look quite the sight compared to Martin -collected and in control, the only trace of their activities a slight swelling of Martin's lips and an amused twinkle in his eyes.

"That was dangerous," Danny comments, his voice still hoarse and low.

"I thought you liked dangerous?" Martin kids, and Danny can't help but smile.

~*~

The office should be dark and quite at this time of night and for a moment Martin wishes it was. He's used to late nights in the office, or at least, he was. Everything changed the moment he started sleeping with Danny. His schedule, his focus on the job, hell, even his interest in Samantha. Now he finds himself tired, wanting nothing more than a bed and Danny's warm body curled next to him. He can't even pretend that it's just about sex because he's not even aroused but he still wants to feel Danny's warmth.

The worst part is Danny's out with Jack on a lead and Martin misses him. Even though only a few hours have passed since their drive back from the church, Martin wishes he could just glance over and find reassurance in the sight of Danny working at his desk. Which really isn't helping the case because he's supposed to be going through Matt's emails, not thinking about Danny.

"Here, brought you a coffee, you look like you could use it."

Coffee isn't what he needs but he doesn't tell Sam that. Instead he takes the styrofoam cup, smiling slightly and mumbling his thanks.

"Find anything?" Sam asks, leaning into his space and for a moment he's certain Jack must be back and he finds himself looking forward to Danny's presence.

"Nothing. This kid didn't even send emails to friends. Just professors with questions, assignment submissions and the occasional email to his parents," Martin replies, glancing over his shoulder and swallowing his disappointment at not seeing Jack.

He tells himself he's not relieved when Sam pulls back. She frowns slightly and he can almost see the wheels turning in her head. None of the case makes any sense and Martin's fairly certain they're missing something. But every time they think they have a lead it brings them right back to where they started.

Sam opens her mouth to say something but before she can voice the thought her cell is ringing and Martin can tell just from her expression that the news isn't good. For a moment panic seizes him and his chest constricts until he's certain he'll suffocate.

"What happened?" he asks the moment Sam hangs up, resisting the urge to ask if Danny's alright.

"They think they've found him," Sam replies, her tone grim.

He lets out a relieved breath that he's sure Sam catches but before she can question him he's standing, pulling on his coat and heading towards the elevators. Sam's close on his heel and he knows she's upset, which can only really mean one thing but Martin can't seem to care because at least Danny isn't hurt. The thought should bother him more than it does because Martin's never been the kind of guy to think selfish thoughts but there it is and there's nothing he can do about it.

He lets Sam drive and even manages to quell his terror by staring out the passenger window. Several times he can sense Sam wanting to say something but every time she shakes her head and turns her attention back to the road. Martin issues up a silent thanks because small talk is the last thing he needs.

He knows the moment they arrive that the case is solved. Knows it just from the look in Jack's eye, the rigidness in Danny's stance. And he knows it's his fault. Knows he could have prevented this if he'd only concentrated on the case rather than his screwed up sex life.

Knowing doesn't quell the nausea he feels at seeing the body. Doesn't ease the guilt coiling inside him, burning until he's shaking from the intensity of it. The boy's still dead and his cold, lifeless blue eyes are still fucking staring at him, mocking him for his failure.

"Has anyone called his parents?" he hears himself ask, the question shattering the still night air.

"Vivian did, they're meeting us at the morgue to ID the body," Jack explains, his tone betraying his own guilt.

Martin nods, not that he expected any other answer but he still feels the need to acknowledge it. He feels as though he's watching the entire scene in slow motion, his body simply responding to everything around him while his mind struggles to catch up. It leaves him feeling oddly detached and for a moment he's certain all anyone can see is a Fitzgerald doing his job with cold objectivity.

That is until he glances over to find Danny watching him and then he knows, *knows* Danny can read him. And he's not certain whether or not to feel relieved or horrified. The last thing he needs is a reminder of just how close Danny's gotten. Not now, not when everything between them has led to this.

He tears his eyes away, shuddering at the sudden lose of contact. Because Danny grounds him, even now and without his concerned expression Martin's fairly certain he's going to fall apart, confess everything and suddenly he wants nothing more than to return to St. Josephs and beg forgiveness.

~*~

Danny can't seem to stop watching Martin. Even when the other man breaks eye contact he can't seem to tear his eyes away. He knows none of the others have noticed the slight tremor running through Martin, the tightness of his jaw, his lips, pursed in an effort not to break down.

Part of him wants to cross the distance between them, take Martin into his arms and reassure him that this isn't Martin's fault. That there was *nothing* they could have done to prevent this. Because nothing had indicated Matt was the victim of a kidnapping. Nothing had suggested they were looking for a killer. And there was nothing to suggest that the case would end this way.

Nothing to suggest they didn’t do everything in their power to prevent this.

But Danny knows Martin won't believe that. Knows Martin will blame himself -like he always does- and in the end the experience will leave Martin hollow for weeks and there's not a damn thing Danny can do about it. Which bothers him more than he'd ever let on because he wants, *needs* Martin to trust him. Not just with his life and his body but with his heart and his head.

He waits for Jack to leave the scene, Sam trailing not far behind before he finally allows himself to move to Martin's side. Martin's still staring down at the body, still fighting against some inner demon Danny's certain he'll never conquer. So lost Martin doesn't even notice Danny's hand on his arm until Danny squeezes firmly, finally getting Martin's attention.

"You okay?" Danny asks, and he knows it's a dumb question but he doesn't take it back.

"Yeah, fine," Martin replies but Danny knows he's anything but fine.

"Come on, there's nothing else we can do," Danny says, pushing slightly until Martin turns towards the car.

He can't even fake being surprised when Martin shakes out of his grasp, crossing the street on his own. He knows the drive to the morgue will be frosty and silent at best and even though part of him wants nothing more than for Martin to just let it all out, he knows Martin will get there in his own time.

"There was nothing we could have done," he repeats as he settles into the seat, starting the car.

Martin doesn't respond, instead glancing out the window at the coroner and watching as he loads the body into a nondescript black bag. Danny sighs in spite of himself because as much as he expected this reaction it still bothers him. He waits until they've fallen behind Jack, the crime scene dwindling in the distance, before speaking again.

"Martin. Talk to me," he tries.

"You sure you wouldn't rather a blow job Danny? Cause it's not like we need to focus on this case anymore," Martin replies.

And that catches Danny off guard. Because he wasn't expecting Martin to reply and he certainly wasn't expecting the hostility in Martin's tone. For once he doesn't have an answer, partly because he thinks that maybe Martin's right.

~*~

Hours later and Martin's finally home. Alone. He thinks that should bring him some satisfaction because he did brush off Danny saying he needed time by himself. Except he hasn't been by himself in months and the silence of it is starting to get to him. It's not that he misses the sound of Danny's voice so much as he just misses Danny. Misses another heartbeat in the room; the sound of someone else breathing.

Which is ridiculous because he doesn't need Danny's presence. Doesn't need it and shouldn't want it because this thing between them has gotten too far out of control and in the end someone died because he was too focused on Danny and not on the job. A clear indication they should end this before someone else dies because they obvious can't separate their personal and professional lives.

But Martin doesn't want to end it. Doesn't even want to think about it because giving up Danny would be like giving up oxygen and Martin's far too addicted to just walk away. The thought is enough to start him pacing and before he can question what he's doing his keys are in hand and he's locking the door behind him.

He knows where he's going, despite his intentions. He knows this won't fix things –in all likelihood it'll probably make it worse- but he's beyond caring at this point because he just screwed up a case and he'll be damned if he's going to give this up after everything it's cost him. So he slams on the brakes, double parking in front of Danny's building, not even caring that his car will more than likely be towed come morning.

The hallway seems longer than he remembers and yet there's something oddly comforting in the worn linoleum that forces him forward. So much so he doesn't even bother to try to talk himself into turning around and going home. Doesn't because he knows he needs this. Just like he knows Danny will let him in; even though he almost wishes he wouldn't.

The weakness behind his knock startles him even though he was half expecting it. Danny opens the door almost instantaneously and Martin wonders if Danny has been waiting for him. Probably he reasons, Danny knows him better than most and Martin can't fool himself into believing Danny wasn't expecting him.

"You're late," Danny comments and Martin wants nothing more than to smack the smirk off his face.

He settles on kissing it off because Martin isn't the violent type and even if he was the thought of hurting Danny leaves him with a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach. He pushes Danny back into the apartment, kicking the door shut behind him, not letting up until they reach the bedroom and only then because he needs to breathe.

"We have to stop doing this," Martin mumbles before surging forward, reclaiming Danny's lips with such ferocity it surprises the both of them.

Danny doesn't comment, instead pushing Martin's jacket down his arms, letting it pool on the floor before starting on Martin's belt. And this is why Martin can't stop, because Danny knows him, knows exactly what he needs when he needs it and -as much as it terrifies him- Martin doesn’t think he could live without this.

His own hands are shaking but Martin still manages to undo the buttons on Danny's shirt, sliding it off Danny's shoulders and finally finding skin. He pauses long enough to step out of his pants before leaning forward, his tongue darting out to lick a stripe down the centre of Danny's chest, shivering at Danny's moan.

And then they're falling, landing in a tangle of limbs and Martin doesn't remember pushing Danny towards the bed but he must have because now Danny's writhing under him and he can't seem to get enough of the heat trapped beneath him. Despite everything that's happened the feel of Danny's body is something he doesn't want to contemplate losing. Not when he pivots his hips, brushing their erections together and getting an answering thrust in return.

He's still kissing Danny, all teeth and tongues and pent up emotion and Martin doesn't even realize they're still half dressed until Danny breaks away long enough to pull Martin's shirt over his head. Martin uses the moment to begin on Danny's pants, because as hot as Danny looks in just his dress slacks, Martin wants skin to skin and is more than willing to give up contact to get it.

Danny arches back, allowing Martin to slide the soft fabric down slim legs, his hands tracing the outside of Danny's thighs on the way back up. And Martin can't help but smile at Danny's shiver, because he knows Danny doesn't give over control willingly and Martin's fairly certain he'd never, *never* allow someone else to see him like this. Which gives him pause and he finds himself needing to know.

"Are you seeing anyone else?" Martin mumbles against Danny's lips, their breath blending together in short pants while Martin waits for Danny's reply.

Danny groans and shakes his head and it's enough of a response for Martin. He smiles before surging forward, running his tongue along Danny's bottom lip until he parts, letting Martin in and kissing him back like he's trying to prove something. And maybe he is because doubt still flitters through Martin's thoughts because even though Danny' s not sleeping with anyone else it doesn't mean he doesn't want to.

And then Danny's hands are clutching Martin's ass and suddenly it doesn't matter. Nothing matters but the feel of Danny's hands, the taste of his mouth and the friction between them. A thrust and Martin becomes all too aware of just how close they are to being finished before they've even begun. It doesn't surprise him, self restraint isn't something he associates with Danny but he still pulls away before it gets too out of control.

He pauses long enough to take in the sight of Danny, panting and flushed, stretched out across the mattress. And god if that doesn't make Martin even harder, so much so it’s almost painful. Slowly he moves down, sliding Danny's briefs over his hips and tossing them unceremoniously across the room. He bends Danny's knees, pushing his legs apart and taking a moment to just look.

It still hits him hard every time. Amazes him that Danny trusts him *this* much. That Danny's willing to sit there on display just for Martin's pleasure. Part of him thinks he could look all day, catalogue every inch of Danny until he had the perfect image, could conjure it up at anytime and just know.

But the need to touch becomes too much and Martin sinks to the mattress, lifting Danny's hips before darting out his tongue to taste. Danny bucks up as Martin's tongue circles his opening, letting out a shuddered moan as Martin presses inside. He brings his hand up to stroke Danny's cock, his tongue trusting in and out as Danny rocks between Martin's mouth and his hand.

The force of Danny's orgasm vibrates through Martin; his own cock twitching in response. He doesn't give Danny a chance to come down before he's rolling on a condom with his free hand and stroking lube coated fingers over himself before pressing inside. They don't do this often and Martin is once again shocked by the sudden tightness, the clenching of Danny's muscles as he rides out the last waves of his orgasm. He stills just long enough to catch his breath before he begins to move. Slowly at first, each thrust building in intensity until he is practically pounding into Danny.

Not that Danny seems to mind and when he wraps his legs around Martin's waist, pulling him deeper, Martin can't stop the low moan that escapes his lips. Danny has the nerve to chuckle, like Martin's pleasure is the most amusing thing he's ever seen. Martin can't even be bothered getting upset because Danny's angling his hips and all too soon Martin's coming, not even bothering to suppress a scream.

He collapses on Danny, his body still shuddering and when Danny flexes Martin moans before withdrawing and falling onto the mattress next to Danny.

"You were saying something about us stopping?" Danny asks.

It takes Martin a moment to process the question. Once he has he pauses, rolling onto his side before responding. "It's starting to affect our work Danny. You don't think that's a problem?" he finally questions.

"This wasn't our fault Martin. The kid had been dead two days before we found him. Hell he wasn't even alive when we began the investigation. There was nothing more we could have done," Danny responds, his eyes capturing Martin's gaze.

"I know. But still, what if we'd only been an hour late? An hour because we were jerking each other off in some alley?" Martin demands, his mood instantly shifting.

"Then we'll stop. At work. But damn it Martin, I don't want to give this up. Do you?" Danny asks, his expression taking Martin's breath away.

"No," Martin replies and it's the first time they've ever been this open and Martin doesn't know what to think.

"Good. I need a shower, you coming?" Danny asks, extending his hand and pulling Martin from the bed.

Part of Martin wants to protest. They still haven't worked everything out and he knows come morning he'll be doubting again, but for now it doesn't matter because Danny's hand fits so perfectly in his and all he really wants to do is shower and then curl up beside Danny and sleep. And maybe in the morning they'll actually talk, have a real conversation but even if they don't Martin doesn't care because he swears he can hear Danny's heartbeat and it's enough.


End file.
